Speaking My Truth on Bachelor Parties
I wrote this poem to set the tone for what follows—a reflection on the experiences and observations that have shaped my views on bachelor and bachelorette parties. My intention is not to attack anyone but rather to share my truth and the boundaries I’ve set for my life. Ultimately, it is up to each person to dictate the flow and pace of their own relationships.
“Forsake All Others”
There is no need to celebrate my past;
A bachelor party would be deceit,
Unless you are on a pole,
Alone in a room with me.
I feel you in my skin,
Your voice vibrates in my bones.
It is easy to forsake all others
When you’ve finally found a home.
I will wrap you up in certainty,
Gifting you reassurance and safety.
Our treasures are foreign to the ignorant world;
The swine will hiss, so we must hide precious pearls.
Forsaking all others is not a chore, but easy to do;
I’ve waited many moons and sunsets just to be with you.
The cheaters are truly greedy
And futile at best.
The illusions of options are great,
Because they settle for less.
Our love cannot compare;
We are not of the earth.
They’ll call us codependent,
But in love, we were birthed.-RM
I wrote this poem to set the tone for what follows—a reflection on the experiences and observations that have shaped my views on bachelor and bachelorette parties. My intention is not to attack anyone but rather to share my truth and the boundaries I’ve set for my life. Ultimately, it is up to each person to dictate the flow and pace of their own relationships.
A Disturbing Turning Point:
I still remember my 16th birthday party, which unexpectedly turned into a bachelor party nightmare. My uncle had rented a penthouse for the celebration, hoping to create a memorable experience. At that age, I was just a young man, full of youthful exuberance and curiosity, and I thought I was throwing the party of a lifetime—something straight out of a movie like Project X. I imagined I would be remembered forever in high school for hosting such an epic bash.
However, the night spiraled out of control, merging with a bachelor party next door. I witnessed grown men, some with wedding rings on their fingers, doing lines of cocaine with strippers. The atmosphere was charged with betrayal and recklessness, and it was a jarring initiation into a world I was not prepared for. As I look back now, I recognize it as a den of iniquity, filled with sex and drugs.
Throughout the night, I saw people sleeping in bathtubs and engaging in sexual escapades all around me. What I once thought would be a memorable night quickly turned into an overwhelming experience that left a bad taste in my mouth—one that would follow me for years.
As time went on, I found myself in situations that made me question the integrity of relationships. I attended both bachelor and bachelorette parties of friends who were soon to be married, and I was shocked to find similar chaos at these events. The partying culture often leads to environments where infidelity, objectification, and reckless behavior become normalized, regardless of gender.
These experiences solidified my belief that such traditions are flawed and can lead to heartache and mistrust. It's not just men who engage in questionable behavior; women can also find themselves in compromising situations during bachelorette parties. This shared experience raises questions about the values we uphold in our relationships.
A Shift in Perspective:
Now, at the age of 38, I can confidently say that I would never, and I mean never, have a bachelor party. I have no desire to go to a strip club or have friends order a stripper for me. The ideal celebration for me wouldn't even be called a bachelor party; instead, it would be a simple gathering with friends or family. We could go to a sports bar to watch MMA, hit the gym together, go rock climbing, or enjoy a hike.
Why would I compromise my future relationship or my respect for whoever my wife may be by seeing other women naked? It is only her that I want to see, and that’s why I’m marrying her. My desires are for her and only her, a sentiment that has matured significantly since my youth.
Authenticity in Relationships:
Through these experiences, I learned that true love is built on trust, respect, and emotional safety. It’s easy to get swept up in societal expectations about how to celebrate milestones, but I believe it’s crucial to examine what these celebrations truly represent. My poem reflects the ease with which we can forsake all others when we find a true connection with someone.
Reframing Celebrations:
Instead of engaging in activities that can undermine a relationship’s foundation, I encourage couples to consider alternative ways to celebrate their love. Intimate gatherings with close friends, shared experiences, or adventures that strengthen bonds can create lasting memories without compromising trust.
My Truth:
I understand that my views on bachelor and bachelorette parties may be unpopular, but I feel it’s essential to speak my truth. These events often perpetuate a culture that I cannot support. Love should be a sanctuary, not a battleground.
Encouraging Honest Conversations:
I urge everyone to have open conversations with their partners about their feelings regarding these traditions. Honesty can deepen connections and foster a mutual understanding that strengthens the relationship.
Conclusion:
It’s time to reflect on what love and commitment mean to us personally. Speaking my truth—though it may go against popular opinion—has been liberating. Let’s encourage each other to celebrate our relationships in ways that honor our commitments and values.
Hypnosis as a Tool for Growth:
As a licensed hypnotherapist, I work with many couples and individuals who are navigating the complexities of relationships, especially as they prepare for marriage. Hypnosis can be a powerful tool to address issues, foster understanding, and enhance emotional connections. If you’re interested in exploring how hypnosis can benefit your relationship, please feel free to reach out to me.
